Oh, The Stories We Tell Ourselves!

Oh, The Stories We Tell Ourselves!

It’s just amazing at how good we are at the stories we tell ourselves.  Making up stories happens so fast that we don’t even realize what champions we have become at story-telling! And then those stories dictate our thoughts, our perceptions and ultimately our lives.

We have a story or opinion on everything, it seems.

  • About politics and people’s points of view
  • About religion
  • About sex and morals
  • About celebrities an their lifestyle
  • About our friends and neighbors
  • About ourselves, our spouses, our family.

You name it and you’ve probably got a story, and a damn good one, too!

But here’s the deal. There’s FACT and FICTION, as we like to say.

When Nick didn’t show up for an appointment, the FACT is he didn’t show up.

End of story.  Or is it?

The story you make up about it is FICTION.

  • He’s an inconsiderate disorganized slob!
  • He doesn’t respect me enough to show up.
  • He’s rude and irresponsible. He should have called to tell me he couldn’t make it.

Before you go off on these tangents that lead to conflict and misunderstanding, ask yourself what might have happened.

Maybe he lost his cell phone, or couldn’t charge it. Maybe he doesn’t even have a cell phone. Maybe he had a family emergency and it completely slipped his mind to get back to you. Maybe he witnessed an accident and stopped to help. Who knows?

Before you start judging others and yourself, reframe the situation by asking yourself, “Is there another way to look at this?”

If you still find yourself turning your assumptions into stories, then you might want to seriously ponder why you need to tell yourself stories. Are you being too judgmental, feeling unloved or have a need to justify, explain and be right? Most of the violence in the world, on every scale from small to big, stems from stories that someone made up about a person, themselves or an event without having all the facts. It doesn’t have to be that way when we look at the world with an open heart.

I’m so glad you are here! If you liked this post, please leave your comments and feel free to share it with family and friends.


If you’re frustrated at not being heard, feel like your needs are not being met or you say “Yes” when you really want to say “No” and take things personally, then you should definitely contact me today about my innovative online Compatibility Index. In less than 60 minutes, I can tell you exactly why you are struggling in your conversations and give you tips and strategies for communicating your needs and desires confidently, elegantly and guilt-free!



8 Responses to Oh, The Stories We Tell Ourselves!

  1. Madison says:

    This really struck home for me. I’m always so quick to judge when other disappoint that I never really take the time out to understand what’s going on in their life. It’s usually all about me. Maybe we need to stop being so into ourselves then we won’t have the need or even want to tell stories. :) Have a great week!
    Madison recently posted…Happy Father Day!My Profile

    • Deb says:

      You hit the nail on the head, Madison. When we make up stories it’s almost always about ourselves coming from a place of fear and lack. Thanks for your comment!

  2. Guillaume says:

    Guilty… Drawing conclusions too early often turns out being the wrong thing to do and rarely makes anything better.
    Guillaume recently posted…Golden Gate Sunrise PhotoshootMy Profile

  3. Tamsin says:

    Excellent post, Deb! And the amount of time and energy we waste in making up our stories, time out to convince ourselves of the truth behind them ………… oh boy!

  4. Deb, this one really hit home as I’m still berating myself for reacting to someone else’s behavior on Saturday. You’re right about making up stories. Boy, did I concoct a whopper, and it didn’t have a very pretty ending. Time to study that lesson a little more!
    Sheri Conaway recently posted…June 17, 2013 Sensing the EarthMy Profile

    • Deb says:

      Ahh, Sheri. Now you’re probably concocting another whopper about how terrible you are. Give yourself a break and a prettier ending. Thanks for you comments that are always so authentic!

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