The Man With Two Wives ~ Part 2

The Man With Two Wives ~ Part 2

In the previous blog, I wrote about wife number one of the man with two wives. Now it’s time to meet wife number two, Monica, who’s also had a trying day at work. Her normal pumpkin sized patience has also withered down to the size of a pea.

As she nears her front door, she hears a guitar playing. The first thing Monica does is STOP. She knows she’s feeling triggered and ready to fire. So she just STOPS and holds her tongue.

Next, she OBSERVES everything happening around her from a place of sensual perception.

  • What was she really hearing as she was guitar music?
  • What did she really see when she walked into her home? She saw her husband and son completely engrossed in one of those special father and son moments.
  • What did she really feel deep down in her heart and soul once she took a deep breath and focused on what she was perceiving through her body and her senses? She felt happiness, joy, peace, serenity and LOVE..
  • What did she imagine? With a smile, she thought how romantic it would be if one summer evening he serenaded me with his guitar under a starry sky with his voice that really couldn’t carry a tune!

Now she took the time to BREATHE in that lavish feeling and let it vibrate within and around her.

She savored the Happiness that she felt knowing husband and son had such a great relationship. She reveled in the joy she felt when entering her house filled with music and let it take away the stress of her busy day. She tasted the Love and gratitude for being part of this family that they all created together.

Instead of getting hot under the collar, resentful and lashing out when the music was done, she quietly sat down next to them and when the song was over, she told them how blessed and happy she was in this moment and how peaceful it was to just be together. So what if her day was rotten, this family was her haven of peace and harmony. She decided this felt like the perfect moment to bring out some fruit, cheese and wine. Her nasty day at work was taking on a different perspective. If she still felt the need to share those feelings later, she’d do it briefly and calmly in an appropriate manner when her husband was more available to support her. But she was already suspecting that it was just one of those fluky bad days and not really a big deal.

Now here’s the beautiful part. You can choose how to respond to any situation. But to do that, we have to learn to observe and appreciate the world around us with our body and our senses. For women, we instinctively know how to live a sensual life. However, most of us live way too much in our heads disconnected and from what our senses are telling us and numbed to those perceptions. It’s time to really know what triggers our responses.

We all agree that positive thinking is the way to go, right. But if we could think our way out of our thoughts, we’d have already done it. What’s going on is that we don’t even know we’re thinking those thoughts because we are so busy lamenting like a victim and striking out with misplaced anger all made up in our heads with our Internal Chain of Commands and the stories we tell ourselves.

What’s one sense you can focus on today? Pick one and the acutely perceive your world today through that sense. Note down the feelings, images, daydreams and ideas that come to you. If you feel negativity, that’s great! Ask yourself what triggered it? What’s going on? How can you turn that into a positive empowering thought instead? It’s a whole lot easier than you think and you’ll start feeling lighter in no time. Really, you will!

I’m so glad you are here! If you liked this post, please leave your comments and feel free to share it with family and friends. And be sure to download my Free Report on Cultivating Communication.

To Your Sensually Empowered Communication!


If you’re frustrated at not being heard, feel like your needs are not being met or you say “Yes” when you really want to say “No” and take things personally, then you should definitely contact me today about my innovative online Compatibility Index. In less than 60 minutes, I can tell you exactly why you are no longer feeling compatibility with your partner, why you are struggling in your conversations and give you tips and strategies for communicating your needs and desires confidently, elegantly and guilt-free!


14 Responses to The Man With Two Wives ~ Part 2

  1. Amy Estrada says:

    So true! I have had to train myself to hit the pause button and give myself enough time to choose a response rather than just react. It changed my life!

  2. LOVE this post! Deb I discovered you through the UBC when you just commented on Facebook and decided I needed to check you out too- I love what you are doing here and how you are serving! Would love to connect off line and explore with you further how you are serving and see what we might co-create to serve across platforms!
    Amethyst Wyldfyre recently posted…Speak Sell Serve & Succeed in Your PJs! Day 14My Profile

    • Deb says:

      Hi Amethyst! I’m delighted that you love my posts and what I’m doing here. I’m all for connecting off line and heart-storming some co-creative ideas. I’m sending you an email.

  3. One feeling I could concentrate on today is serenity and also having quiet time with God. I was supposed to meet a new friend, but plans changed and both my new friend and husband were called into work. I feel alone, but could concentrate on the quiet serenity that is around me and praise God I have more quiet time with him. Thanks for your great post!
    April @Pixie Dust Savings recently posted…Disney’s Boma Restaurant ReviewMy Profile

    • Deb says:

      It must be disappointing to not see your friends that you were so looking forward to spending time with. What a beautiful thought to spend more quiet time as you choose and enjoy the serenity. Happy Sunday and thanks so much for your comment, April.

  4. Peggy Nolan says:

    Love, love, love this post Deb! I love that you point out that at any given moment we get to choose how we feel (how empowering!)

    Many years ago, when my husband and I first got married and became a stepfamily, we made a commitment to each other that the drama stayed outside of our home because our home was our sacred space and a safe haven for anyone entering it.

    Peggy Nolan recently posted…Remember: The Stepmom’s Toolbox Radio Show Has Moved From BlogTalk Radio To A New FormatMy Profile

    • Deb says:

      What I love is that you and your husband made that commitment to each other to always keep your home a safe haven for your family and others. When asking long-lasting couples what is the strongest glue that has kept them together, it is invariably the commitment to each other and their relationship beyond anything else.

  5. Amy says:

    Deb, There is so much sense and so much wisdom in this post. How often I react emotionally when, if I used my head as you suggest, the outcome of the interaction would be so, so different. Thank you, thank you.
    Amy recently posted…There’s Treasure EverywhereMy Profile

  6. Gillie says:

    So so true :)

    I used to be so guilty of being wife number 1. Then one day I decided to just slow down. I refused to cry over things I couldn’t change, I refused to be knocked back by things that went wrong, I refused to be drawn into arguments and I refused to jump to conclusions. My life changed overnight and the knock on effect on our family was great too.
    Gillie recently posted…rule bendingMy Profile

    • Deb says:

      What a fabulous example of taking charge of your emotions and responses! Bravo! Thanks for sharing your experience, Gillie.

  7. Jenny says:

    Thanks for this, Deb!

    I love the tools you offer in the last paragraph, tuning into one sense for a whole day. It’s like a sensual mindfulness meditation! Bringing awareness to situations outside of the usual awareness and by doing this, perhaps bypassing the trigger point(s). Very cool.
    Jenny recently posted…Celebrating ChangeMy Profile

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